I told God I wanted to move to California. God told me He was the one moving me and that he would be the one to take care of me. I moved on September 23rd. He is a promise keeper.
I came to LA on September 23rd and started searching for jobs. Nothing turned up for a while so I bought a ticket home and decided to try again next year. Minutes after I made up my mind, I got a job interview. Since that moment I've gotten two offers from jobs here. They don't pay like I would like but they're what I've been given. I trust God can provide for me. He's provided a job. Now I need him to give me a car and an apartment. I'd like a great roomate to love too (lol) it looks grim, but I know God specializes in those types of situations. He provides and will provide for me.
Having faith God will keep his promises and that he will provide can be difficult, but doable. We read in the bible all the time that God provides. As I reflect on what's next, I'm trying to remember that He'll never leave me. Thats the new and difficult part. I'm so used to having people with me at all times. I don't even remember life without my sisters. I love my sisters. They're my best friends, and life without them is terrifying. I know. It sounds weird and whack but my mom raised us to take care of each other and that's what we do. It's been through them that I've learned how it feels to never be alone.
Sometimes, because I'm physically alone often, I feel like I left God. I get scared that I left His presence at home, because thats where I'm used to sensing Him. I know He's a provider, I know He keeps promises, but sensing his presence is getting hard for me. I know I've attached God's presence to places. Church, my house, the places I normally pray, etc. without those things God has no borders. He has no convenient box for me to put him in, so I can't define him as easily. I know He's with me, but FEELING like I'm now completely alone at times is difficult. I have to remind myself that God is not church, God is everywhere, omnipresent, and he's right here with me no matter where I go and do. I guess even though my sisters aren't here, I have a close friend. Somebody that knows me more intimately than they ever did. I'm trying to allow myself the comfort of knowing it's ok to be away from my comfort zone because my real comfort zone is Christ.
I'm going back to Detroit to visit this weekend, and its going to be hard to leave again. But I have some comfort in knowing that not only am I never alone, my family is never alone. Just like He told his people way waaay back in Deuteronomy 31:8 "God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.” In the meantime, I'll be trying to get back to the little girl cheesing in the cabinet in the picture, without a care int he world, knowing the one who loves her is with her, I'll get there.